Josh Harris, pastor of Covenant Life Church and author of, among many books, I’ve Kissed Dating Goodbye, offers some reflection on his book 12 years after its first publication:
I still stand by the message of that book that premature, short-term romantic attachments can be a big distraction from serving God—especially for teenagers. But in the years since Ive also seen that a legalistic application of these ideas can be unhelpful, too. One of my main concerns in my church or any other church is that there be no disunity among Christians over issues of dating and courtship. We need to learn to hold our own convictions on this matter with charity. Most importantly we need to make sure that our convictions are shaped by scripture—not culture, church culture or my books.
He offers some messages in this post that you will find helpful in thinking through pre-marriage relationships.